Choosing the right marriage celebrant

Referral is one of the best ways to narrow down a shortlist of celebrants. Friends who share similar values to you may be able to name a celebrant they have seen or experienced who would be a good match for your wedding. Below I have provided a checklist of things to consider. Most celebrants' fees are around $500 so price is usually not a significant factor distinguishing one celebrant from another. What else might you look for? The checklist includes personal style, communication skills, experience, legal knowledge and the contract.

Personal style

Look for a celebrant whose style matches yours: are you more formal or do you prefer a more comfortable, relaxed approach? Do you prefer a more outgoing style or someone who will be a little more reserved and "in the background"? Are you traditional in your approach to weddings or do you prefer weddings that are modern or unusual?

Your celebrant needs to dress and act in a way that fits with your style. Both you and your celebrant need to be clear about the style of wedding that you seek and to be comfortable with that style. If it is a formal wedding then your celebrant needs to come in a suit. With a beach wedding feel free to clarify the degree of casualness. You specify if it is casual Hawaiian, Miami vice style white jackets or a tuxedo. It is your wedding and your celebrant needs to be clear about what your wishes are. It is when you discuss your wedding ideas at this level of detail that you will readily see whether the celebrant is comfortable and will fit with your wedding and your approach.

Communication skills

There is nothing worse than talking at cross purposes, particularly when it comes to weddings. Look for a celebrant with whom you can communicate easily and get a sense of being heard and understood. This is essential at the planning stage.

You will also want a celebrant with good public speaking skills for the grand day. In some venues, such as an open space or beach wedding, you will need a PA system to ensure the celebrant is heard. Clarify whether a PA system will be used and whether the celebrant can provide his or her own.

Experience

Determine what experience the celebrant has by simply asking how many weddings they have conducted. An experienced celebrant may be more at ease than a novice. In all likelihood your wedding will cope better with the unexpected dramas when your celebrant has seen it all before. However novices have to start somewhere and for those seeking something different an enthusiastic novice can add life to the whole experience.

Legal knowledge

Getting married is something special but do not lose sight of the fact that it is a legal contract. There has been closer monitoring of celebrants by the Australian Attorney General's Department because some of the administrative and legal obligations associated with the marriage ceremony were being ignored. What this might mean is that a couple might not be legally married even though they think they are. Imagine if the law declared your marriage invalid. Your marriage celebrant's role is to stick to the law. If this means a celebrant puts the kybosh on your new and creative set of marriage vows then the celebrant is doing his/her duty. Equally, knowing where the law ends and creativity can start is just as important. There are only a few legal restrictions so find out what you can change in the ceremony and what you can't.

The contract

When people make assumptions someone ends up getting upset. The bare minimum you need to ask is (1) How much is it, (2) Will travel expenses be additional, (3) Is a rehearsal included, (4) What extras will I need to pay for and (6) What are the arrangements for playing music?

Five simple steps

1. Assessment and appointment

Phone 0416157751 and have a brief chat about the wedding date, location and concept. Book an appointment to discuss it in detail.

2. Meet and discuss what you want

Discuss in detail the plans for the ceremony. Complete the a checklist

3. Sign the paperwork

The NOIM (notice of intending marriage) is signed in front of Mark Sykes. This must be done at least one month and one day before the ceremony.

4. Design the ceremony

Design the ceremony either using established formats or develop your own using the resources supplied.

5. Get married!

Easy as 1, 2, 3.

About Mark Sykes

Mark Sykes is a registered Civil Celebrant and Provisionally registered Psychologist who works with couples to achieve improved relationship satisfaction. He has a passion for creative ceremonies that focus on expressing the couple's mutual relationship values. Ph: 0416 157 751. More...